


When You Say Nothing at All

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4921387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s an adjective used to describe some things, though I don’t know if that something would be me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Say Nothing at All

It was boring as hell. The food was mediocre at best. The open bar was serving seriously water downed drinks. The speeches were dull and lifeless. Rafael wanted to chew his arm off to escape. 

His companion certainly didn’t seem to be enjoying herself. They made some small talk at their table but even that didn’t provide much satisfaction. As soon as Barba’s friend, Dave Mullen, got through his acceptance speech the couple made a bee line straight for the door. They stepped outside of the Holiday Inn Midtown into the drizzly Manhattan night. The streets were crowded; there were surely a million things to do on a Thursday evening for entertainment.

“I would understand if you never spoke to me again.” Rafael said.

“Why would you say that?”

“I think I've had more fun at the dentist’s office.”

“Oh we were supposed to have fun?” Olivia asked. “I thought you were going out of obligation to a friend and didn’t want to have to go it alone.”

“I was.” He replied nodding.

“So why the apology?”

“Well I was just hoping that we would have fun because we were together.”

“We always have fun together. It’s just after 8:30.” Liv looked at her watch. “We have another two hours to paint the town red.” She slipped her arm in his. “Feed me, Counselor…that food was not up to par.”

“It really wasn’t.” Rafael stepped out on the curb to hail a cab. “They should be ashamed of themselves.”

000

Olivia smiled as he handed her a napkin to put over her dress. They'd gone to some of the nicest restaurants in the city. Tonight they just wanted to enjoy some good food. So they got a cab over to Morningside Heights and a restaurant called Burger Burger. They had thirty different kinds of burgers, ten different milkshakes, old school fountain drinks like cherry soda, and endless baskets of fries. 

Rafael decided on the turkey bacon cheeseburger. It had Swiss cheese and Applewood smoked bacon. Olivia ordered the honey mustard chicken burger, also with bacon. She sipped a caramel shake while Rafael enjoyed Mexican Coke with real sugar.

“This is fantastic.” Rafael closed his eyes as he chewed. “Oh my god, why don’t we come here more often?”

“Well they say you never forget your first time.” She smiled. “This chicken is so tender. The Old Bay fries are delicious.”

“I appreciate you coming with me tonight. I know those rubber chicken dinners can be torturous but you were a real trooper.”

“That’s me, Olivia Benson, trooper. Taste this milkshake…it’s awesome.”

Rafael sampled it and liked it. They would definitely have to come back here on their more casual nights. They didn’t serve beer or liquor so it might not be on hard nights when they needed something in a tumbler or highball glass. Did they even have many casual nights? Usually it was one of their favorite bars or a good restaurant when they wanted to wash down their spirits with a good meal.

“What are you thinking about?” Olivia asked.

“We don’t have a lot of casual nights.” He replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we work hard and then we wind down from those days at a bar or a restaurant where we put a hurting on good food and good liquor. This place is well lit and there’s 90s music playing, which I don’t plan to hold against them because the food is good. Does this seem like the kind of place we would come after a bad day?”

“Not really.” She shook her head. “It’s too bright…there's no scotch.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Rafael smiled.

“So we’ll just come here on some other night. We don’t work all the time, this can be a nice place to come on good days. Also, we should think about trying to have some good days at work.”

“While we’re waiting for that…”

Olivia laughed some. The truth was that their jobs were hard. Whether the victims were alive or dead, sex crimes were difficult to investigate and prosecute. Most of the time they were dealing with victimized women and children, which wasn’t easy for even the strongest soul. Drinking helped. 

Almost every cop Olivia knew had some kind of vice. She was doing pretty good where that was concerned. There was coffee and wine, daily. There was food, mostly with Rafael and occasionally with her team. Olivia was no longer having sex. She didn’t play video games, run marathons, or have a dog. Damn, she needed to get a life.

“I think I need to get a life.” She said.

“They're not all they're cracked up to be.” Rafael said.

“Oh really, Counselor? What do you do outside of the confines of the criminal justice system?”

“I sail…sometimes. I definitely do it much less than I used to. I was never good at sports but a few years back I played in an outdoor soccer league. I did it for exercise more than anything. I'm susceptible to pudge.”

“I love when you say that.” Olivia smiled.

“I say it because it’s true.”

“I want to see pictures of this so-called pudgy kid. I'm sure he was adorable.”

“That’s an adjective used to describe some things, though I don’t know if that something would be me.”

“You're too hard on yourself.” Olivia took the pickle from her plate and put it on his.

“So your solution is to fatten me up?”

“Oh shut up, it’s a pickle.”

They both laughed. Then Rafael ate most of the pickle. A companionable silence fell over the table as they ate the rest of their dinner. The PA system played Matchbox 20, Olivia mouthed the words to _3 a.m_.

“I think it would be nice to come here more often.” Rafael said. “Just to do something different.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“You can wear something you won't have to worry about getting a stain on.”

“Maybe you can wear a pair of jeans.” Olivia looked at him and smiled. “Do you own a pair of jeans?”

“I own at least three pairs of jeans.”

“You’ve been holding out on me, Counselor.” Olivia laughed.

“I haven’t.” Rafael shook his head.

“I want to see you in jeans.”

 _I want to see you naked_ , Rafael thought but didn’t say. He wanted to slap himself for even thinking it. Olivia Benson would never be just some conquest. Rafael had no idea how it happened but he was almost sure that he was falling in love with her. He would’ve been completely sure but had spent so many years repressing feelings of that nature that now he just didn’t know. 

They were good friends and enjoyed each other’s company. Olivia was so easy for him, even when she was incredibly difficult. There were many things that Rafael didn’t know about her but it didn’t feel like parts of her were closed off. As long as they had time, they would get to that place. Just what that place was he wasn’t sure.

“So maybe next week?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“If you're wearing jeans then I'm there.”

“What are you going to be wearing?”

“Whatever I want.” Olivia replied smiling.

“Is that fair?”

“Yes, because you’ve seen me in nearly everything.”

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Rafael asked. “That’s a lovely dress and it looks amazing on you. Purple most definitely suits you. I'm glad you were able to come with me tonight.”

“Me too, and you told me three times how lovely I looked. The fourth time is the charm. I'm loving this burger. How is yours?”

“Delicious.” He put on a smile.

“Are you sure? Your facial expression just changed.”

“Don’t do that.”

“OK.” Olivia nodded.

They went back to eating in silence. Olivia was almost done and considering getting a milkshake to go. Third Eye Blind was singing _How’s It Gonna Be_ ; she might have to dust this CD off when she got home later. Some of that music was her favorite. It was coming out just as she was joining the force and needed something to keep her focused as well as sane. That was almost 20 years ago now. Where had all the time gone?

“It’s not that I'm upset but sometimes I just feel like you can see right through me and I don’t even know what to do about it.”

“I can't see through you…not literally.”

“It’s probably just me.”

“It’s not just you, Counselor.” Olivia said. “You almost ready?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll walk a few blocks, walk off some of this milkshake.”

Rafael nodded. He liked that idea a lot. Walking with her was one of his favorite things to do. They would talk, or not; it didn’t matter. When he and Olivia were together Rafael didn’t need to be on. It was a nice feeling and lately he wanted to extend it more and more. Usually able to tell her almost anything, he couldn’t tell her that.

They shared an umbrella as they walked down the rainy streets of Morningside Heights. With two colleges in the area there were also plenty of people around. Olivia felt comfortable with her arm in his. Taking a deep breath, she moved her hand down and slipped it in his. Rafael’s fingers were warm wrapped around hers. When they stopped at a red light he glanced at her.

“Me too, Liv.”

“I know.” She nodded.

“It shouldn’t be so difficult to say aloud.” He said.

“Sometimes you talk too much.”

Rafael couldn’t argue with that. He'd always been known for his mouth, for good or bad. He wanted to share his feelings with Olivia. She needed to know that he adored her. He liked her and wanted her and my God, did he lust after her. It had been years since he felt like this or even wanted to. 

But she was fresh out of a relationship and Rafael wasn’t sure going if it was a good idea. Olivia and Brian seemed to end naturally though that didn’t mean she didn’t long for something no longer there. No, she wasn’t the type to hold hands with someone if her mind was on someone else. Who in the hell put this much thought into things like this? 

His own brain would drive him clear out of his mind one of these days. Just say something. Say the first thing that came to mind that wasn’t wholly inappropriate. You have a law degree for God’s sake, you can do this.

“I’ll take you back to your apartment and we won't have to talk at all.”

Smiling, Olivia moved to the curb. She held out her hand to stop one of the many vehicles moving down the street.

“Taxi!”

***


End file.
